Photo Provided by Tahlia Jain

Tahlia should start a bagel-cutting company.

Recently, the Journalism class at Rosary Academy discovered they had an oddity in their midst. Tahlia Jain ‘26 is a bagel butcher. Tahlia recently made it known that every morning for breakfast she eats a bagel. Sounds normal, right? NO! Tahlia cuts her bagels into two parts, but not the normal ratio of half and half; she cuts the bagel into 1/4 and 3/4 portions. Tahlia eats the smaller half in the morning and the bigger half in the afternoon for a reward.

Being a concerned friend of Tahlia’s, I needed to get to the bottom of this. I asked Tahlia about her step-by-step bagel routine. Tahlia explains in her own words, her specific bagel preparation. 

1. Cut the bagel into two sections (¾ and ¼).
2. Based on my mood and the amount of time I have, I’ll decide which part to eat; but usually, the thick ¾ part is my afternoon snack, and the thinner ¼ is my breakfast. 
3. Toast the bagel; my toaster has a scale of one to seven, so I’ll toast the bagel on seven and then on four for a second round (this makes the bagel extra crispy and sometimes burnt, which goes well with the cold cream cheese).
4. Cream cheese the bagel. I use the one in the dark green and white container from Trader Joe’s; it’s very light and fluffy.
5. I pour a glass of milk and feast on my delicious bagel. 

Tahlia definitely has the routine down, but the question that needs to be answered is how she came to this bagel revelation. Tahlia says, “I started getting into bagels over quarantine because I needed something quick to eat in the mornings before my Zoom classes. My specific method of cutting started as an accident–I was wary of the knife and didn’t have great control over it.”

Tahlia thinks that her bagels are normal, but some Royals have other things to say. Cait Smith ’24 had some strong thoughts about this dilemma: “I feel uncomfortable about the bagel situation; it makes my skin crawl. I don’t get it. How can you be satisfied with two completely different sections? I don’t get how she likes them both equally. It is SO weird.” Ms. Barclay ’94 was also deeply troubled: “I saw Tahlia in a whole new light. I try not to look her in the eye anymore. I’m terrified, confused, and a little bit impressed. She is a force of nature.”

Tahlia is a strong believer in “don’t knock it till you try it,” so I guess we’ve all got to try her weird bagel ratio. However, the cutting is simply unnatural, so Tahlia can continue living in her bagel fantasy while the rest of us do it the correct way.