It is obvious that Rosary girls are by definition clumsy. We fall. We trip. We catch feelings too easily. You know, it’s an unbreakable cycle, to say the least. Here’s a quick rundown of a few of the clumsiest girls at Rosary.

Starting off strong with me. I know. I know. I have been told I walk with a certain poise (must be the height), but I can list numerous examples of my clumsiness in action. To start, I have split my chin open not once, but twice. The second time took place on the stairs of Rosary Academy. Yes, you heard it here first folks. I did trip going not down but up the stairs during my sophomore year. Two years later during my senior year, low and behold, I fractured my nose while playing volleyball (shoutout to Brooke Kizziar ’22 for doing the damage).

We got our executive ASB president, Elena Walz ’22, up next. She states, “I am not sure what the source of my clumsiness is. Honestly, I consider myself a very self-aware person, I just have an extraordinary ability to drop and/or break things. I hold the record in my family for most cutlery dropped AND most bowls broken. One time I even managed to get pasta sauce on the ceiling because my blender exploded. It’s a heavy burden to bear, but I do my best in my own clumsily graceful way.” Wow, Elena. I too hold the record in my family for breaking the most bowls. It seems to be a common trend.

Next up we have Evelyn LeVecke ’22. This former soccer player has sustained three concussions and, in the words of Elton John, “is still standing.” She comments on her concussions saying, “I would say I’m more accident-prone than clumsy. It’s just the way things happen I guess. I would say I’m just pretty unlucky.”

We have our Royal klutz Trinitas actress Katie Thomas ’22 next. She states, “Umm, well, I was backstage for ‘Front,’ in which I had three very real saucers and a teacup as my props in a bag. Thinking that the bag had two straps and was fully closed, I lifted it up in an attempt to untangle it mid-show. In doing so, I proceeded to drop and shatter each of the saucers and teacups backstage as the scene was going on that was, I’ll add, very quiet. I would say I was surprised, but then again, it’s me.”

Finally, we are rounding out this list of klutzes with the one, the only, Mrs. Gallegos. This science teacher states, “Hmm, how am I a klutz? Well, last night I was trying to put together the lab for my APES class, and I stuck the kilowatt meter in the socket and I got part of it stuck in the wall. I couldn’t touch it because I didn’t want to hurt my finger, so I had to get plyers to get it out of the wall and had to turn off the electricity of my whole house. Also, I trip on my own power cables all the time in class, and I accidentally hit the side of the wall a lot. I use a yardstick sometimes to get my class’ attention, but I occasionally lose control and drop it.”

Contact me if you would like to be featured in the next round of Royal Klutzes Coming in Klutch!