If Rosary was a movie…


The resemblance is uncanny… (Photo Credit: Charlotte Jordan)

Charlotte Grace Jordan, Staff Writer

In the past couple years, a popular way to get through the trials and tribulations of this particularly difficult decade has been romanticizing your life: seeing the beauty and aesthetic of the everyday little things, so your life feels like a coming-of-age movie starring Saoirse Ronan instead of reality starring you.

In line with this more fun (if delusional) way of thinking, I decided to ask myself if Rosary was the subject of a movie, who would be cast as our beloved teachers? I feel like there are several right answers for this question, but here are a few of my top picks:

1.) Ms. Barclay

Now, casting Ms. Barclay is near impossible because no one on this Earth possesses her unique (as the French say) je ne sais quoi. However, I tentatively offer up Paget Brewster of “Criminal Minds” fame as a potential actor in the leading role of Barclay. Aside from a passing resemblance, I feel their voices have similar timbres. Alternatives include Tina Fey or, in the opinion of senior Daniela Arias, actress Judy Reyes.

Barclay, however, had different ideas about the subject: “Ana De Armas, easy. I think it’s obvious, I’m not even sure why I’m giving this interview. A lot of people are thinking it, I’m certain of that.” Okay!

Do you agree with our casting? (Photo Credit: Charlotte Jordan)

2.) Mr. Clough


I am slightly afraid to cast this character because his fanbase is so dedicated, I think there might be threats in my comments if I flop. In this role, I would cast the late and great Richard Belzer from “Law and Order: Special Victims Unit.” Like Barclay, I feel like this actor and Mr. Clough share similar voices, and Belzer’s dry, sarcastic delivery of lines on “SVU” could do Clough’s sense of humor justice.

Senior Emma Silva offered a new option, about which she felt strongly: “Willem Dafoe. Both men are quirky and unique in their own special way, and I think Willem Dafoe has the acting chops to take on a character as complex and beloved as Clough.”

Daniela Arias added, “Will Ferrell. One day, one of my parents pointed it out, so I looked it up and they look exactly alike, like identical. Plus they’re the same height, it’s a perfect match.”

3.) Ms. Godfrey

I feel my personal pick of actress Emily VanCamp for Ms. Godfrey is spot-on. Their shared hair color and features make this match perfect to me, though senior Chloe McNamara had her own casting in mind: “I could see Annie Murphy, or Alexis from ‘Schitt’s Creek.’ They have similar vibes.”

No one beats the real Ms. Godfrey! (Photo Credit: Charlotte Jordan)

4.) Mr. O’Campo

My personal pick for Mr. O’Campo is drama queen Joe Bastianich from “MasterChef.” I think my casting is perfect, though I’ve been offered some great alternatives by Daniela Arias and freshman Christina Vaughn.

Daniela proposed: “I’ve always thought he looked like Rami Malek. I think it every time I see him.”

Christina elaborated: “I don’t even have him as a teacher, but the first time I saw him in the hall, I immediately saw Lin Manuel Miranda. It was instantaneous.” Mr. O’Campo, what I think you should take away from this article is that you just look famous.

Mr. O’Campo shared that he gets told he looks like these celebrities all the time. (Photo Credit: Charlotte Jordan)

Though it’s fun to speculate, I’m sure I’m not alone in saying I wouldn’t trade our fabulous staff for any celebrity in the world! (Except maybe Daniel Craig.)