If Rosary was a movie…
April 24, 2023
In the past couple years, a popular way to get through the trials and tribulations of this particularly difficult decade has been romanticizing your life: seeing the beauty and aesthetic of the everyday little things, so your life feels like a coming-of-age movie starring Saoirse Ronan instead of reality starring you.
In line with this more fun (if delusional) way of thinking, I decided to ask myself if Rosary was the subject of a movie, who would be cast as our beloved teachers? I feel like there are several right answers for this question, but here are a few of my top picks:
1.) Ms. Barclay
Now, casting Ms. Barclay is near impossible because no one on this Earth possesses her unique (as the French say) je ne sais quoi. However, I tentatively offer up Paget Brewster of “Criminal Minds” fame as a potential actor in the leading role of Barclay. Aside from a passing resemblance, I feel their voices have similar timbres. Alternatives include Tina Fey or, in the opinion of senior Daniela Arias, actress Judy Reyes.
Barclay, however, had different ideas about the subject: “Ana De Armas, easy. I think it’s obvious, I’m not even sure why I’m giving this interview. A lot of people are thinking it, I’m certain of that.” Okay!
2.) Mr. Clough
I am slightly afraid to cast this character because his fanbase is so dedicated, I think there might be threats in my comments if I flop. In this role, I would cast the late and great Richard Belzer from “Law and Order: Special Victims Unit.” Like Barclay, I feel like this actor and Mr. Clough share similar voices, and Belzer’s dry, sarcastic delivery of lines on “SVU” could do Clough’s sense of humor justice.
Senior Emma Silva offered a new option, about which she felt strongly: “Willem Dafoe. Both men are quirky and unique in their own special way, and I think Willem Dafoe has the acting chops to take on a character as complex and beloved as Clough.”
Daniela Arias added, “Will Ferrell. One day, one of my parents pointed it out, so I looked it up and they look exactly alike, like identical. Plus they’re the same height, it’s a perfect match.”
3.) Ms. Godfrey
I feel my personal pick of actress Emily VanCamp for Ms. Godfrey is spot-on. Their shared hair color and features make this match perfect to me, though senior Chloe McNamara had her own casting in mind: “I could see Annie Murphy, or Alexis from ‘Schitt’s Creek.’ They have similar vibes.”
4.) Mr. O’Campo
My personal pick for Mr. O’Campo is drama queen Joe Bastianich from “MasterChef.” I think my casting is perfect, though I’ve been offered some great alternatives by Daniela Arias and freshman Christina Vaughn.
Daniela proposed: “I’ve always thought he looked like Rami Malek. I think it every time I see him.”
Christina elaborated: “I don’t even have him as a teacher, but the first time I saw him in the hall, I immediately saw Lin Manuel Miranda. It was instantaneous.” Mr. O’Campo, what I think you should take away from this article is that you just look famous.
Though it’s fun to speculate, I’m sure I’m not alone in saying I wouldn’t trade our fabulous staff for any celebrity in the world! (Except maybe Daniel Craig.)
Angela Ward • May 8, 2023 at 10:35 am
Ms Barclay is definitely reaching with Ana De Armas.
Emma Silva • Apr 26, 2023 at 12:49 pm
the picks for our beloved mrs. godfrey were spot on. but willem dafoe as mr clough??? that is JUST what america needs