The battle for November

Photo via LSC Lawn Service under the Creative Commons License

Photo via LSC Lawn Service under the Creative Commons License

Brynn Beauchamp, Staff Writer

The season has ended. The candy has been sold. The kids are all tired, and the costume is old. October ends abruptly during the night, and the world suddenly shifts from fright to delight. November is upon us people…

I don’t know about anyone else, but I feel like November is historically one of the most controversial months. Pressing arguments of which Thanksgiving food is really the best begin to anger even the happiest of souls. Then, the Black Friday blender battles throw the internet over the edge—entertaining people across the globe. Yet, the most exciting controversy that presents itself every November begins before the month even starts…

During the week of Halloween, there are some people who decide to announce that Christmas is here. The defrosting of Mariah Carey begins, and suddenly “Elf” and “Home Alone” are the only movies you will see on the television for the next two months. However, there are some people who do not identify with this way of living. Here are the types of people you may encounter during the next few weeks and some advice on how to deal with them:


The Grieving Halloweener

We all know those people who are still deeply indulging into the spirit of spookiness. All of their Halloween spirit has been out on display since the fifth of July, and it’s likely they will be seen wearing Halloween socks, drinking a PSL, or even sporting parts of their costumes out to the grocery stores. “Thriller” is the top song on their playlist, and you already know they have watched “The Conjuring” at least seven times in the last week. Their house is definitely going to be decked out for the next week or so, and they will be eating every last piece of the candy they stocked up for the next year. If you come across a griever, I would recommend you not bother them with any problems. If you can steer clear of this concerning personality, it would probably be best for everyone.


The AVID “Thanksgiving is a Season” Person

You know them. You love them. But there is no denying their mental flaw. Let’s not forget that they WILL be keeping those uncarved pumpkins on the porch until November 25—at least. You already know they invest in Chai Teas, Lattes, and Pumpkin Spice Cakes for the festivity of the fall season. Pumpkin candles are always burning around these people, and you know for a fact they love flannels and comfy blankets. However, be warned, they are deluded to believe “Give Thanks” banners, very odd looking pumpkins, and some dead twigs and leaves constitute as Thanksgiving décor. Regardless, they are kind, cozy, genuine people, and anytime you spend with them is bound to be amazing. Oh, and don’t forget, they can make a killer apple pie! If you know a person like this, make sure to bring them some coffee or even head over to watch “A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving” with them.


The Grinchsters

I just have one question for these people: EXACTLY WHAT TRAUMA DID YOU ENDURE THAT MAKES YOU HATE CHIRSTMAS SO MUCH? I swear these people are going to be the reason for our downfall. Grinches don’t want to celebrate Christmas early, but they also don’t believe in the Thanksgiving season. Come on. Pumpkins? Dumb. Coffee? They don’t like it. Christmas? Overrated. They have lost all hope in the power of Hallmark, and they want nothing to do with anything festive. Entertainment for them comes in the form of starting arguments on social media about how the holidays are pointless. STAY AWAY from these people, and never let yourself be fooled into thinking Christmas beginning on the first hour of November is a bad idea. But, let us not forget that there are softer Grinchsters out there, who—regardless of their adamant opinions that Christmas should be avoided until December—do still enjoy the fall season. These people are bearable and enjoy boundaries in life. Smart enough to understand which holidays do and don’t have décor seasons, they are realists who believe everything has a set place in time, and for Christmas, that unfortunately means after Thanksgiving.


The FaLaLaLaLovers

You know them. You love them. You adore them. You hopefully are them. Nothing in the world makes people happier than some Christmas décor and a little Mariah Carey. The garland? Hung last night. Gingerbread? Fresh out of the oven. Presents? Ordered last week. You just know these people have a tree straight out of a Pottery Barn magazine, and all of their pillows are definitely from the new Anthropologie Holiday Collection. Everything in their life smells of pine trees and peppermint, and they will need new UGG slippers by Christmas Eve. I have no shame in admitting that I am one of these people. I don’t know about anyone else, but the amount of serotonin in my life drastically increases once those stockings get hung in my house. We have no boundaries. Call us people of sheer desire and impulse. But for two months, we will be the jolliest bunch of elves you’ve ever met. So, if you know anyone like this, a Christmas playlist, some fresh baked cookies, and a smile are essential!

So, there you have it. These are the four types of people you will encounter during this first week and even the month of November. Which type of person are you? Let me know in the comments below! Happy Holidays Royals!