The downfall of Rory Gilmore


(Photo Credit: Caela Cabal '23)

Cadiz Salazar ’23 displaying her disapproval of the Rory Bob.

Caela Cabal, Staff Writer

Because of the heat waves and lack of dancing autumn leaves, I am left with few options when it comes to welcoming fall. Sure, I could always get myself a Chai Latte, throw on some comfy pajamas, light my candle from Bath and Body Works’ Fall Collection, and watch “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown,” but even that doesn’t feel like enough. I need more–something to truly transport me to a place where the temperatures don’t exceed 60° and the trees aren’t perpetually parched.

I need “Gilmore Girls.”

When fall comes around and the burning state of California only brings me disappointment, “Gilmore Girls” is always there to offer me comfort. I imagine that like Rory, I, too, can also sport a cute beanie and take strolls in my quaint Connecticut town.

However, if I were a teenager in Stars Hollow, I know I would have major beef with the town’s poster child. Everybody makes mistakes, but no one does it better than Rory Gilmore. Now, I could come up with a looong list of why she is my least favorite character on the show…but I’ll make it quick.

She’s a runner

I wish I could say that I’m jealous of her mile time, but that isn’t true. Unfortunately, Rory’s got a bad case of can’t-handle-criticism-itis. Shall we recall why Rory went on that trip to Europe with her grandma? Oh, right. Lorelai called her out on her breaking up Dean and his wife, and the truth was too hard to handle. Or what about that time she ended up leaving home and moving in with her grandparents? I know! Mitchum Huntzberger told her that she wasn’t ready for the world of journalism. Pffffft. I can’t relate. Do you think Ms. Gilmore could’ve written an article like this? Mitchem wouldn’t think so.

Ivy League this, Ivy League that

I’m beginning to think that if Rory can get accepted into two Ivy Leagues, so can I. I mean, Chilton has nothing on Rosary Academy. Rory is no match for the typical overachieving Rosary girl. Maybe I’m speaking from jealousy, but how in the world did she get into both Harvard and Yale? Plus the audacity for her to complain about it after Paris didn’t get into Harvard? Personally, if I were Paris and my frenemy began whining about getting accepted into both of her dream schools, I wouldn’t have handled it as gracefully as she did. And Rory categorizing Princeton as her safety school surely takes the cake. Must be nice, Rory. Kendall Clarida ’23, also a “Gilmore Girls” super-fan, shared, “Even though Rory Gilmore wasn’t part of many extracurriculars, she still got into multiple Ivy Leagues and complained about it. Then she made a pro/con list about which one to pick. It was too much to watch.” I couldn’t agree more, Kendall.

Yale Rory

After graduating from Chilton and moving on to Yale, Rory began her downward spiral. Reality hit her hard when she got to college. Unfortunately, she didn’t have that Stars Hollow street cred that had people falling to their knees. How can anyone forget that embarrassing fit she threw when she got a D for the first time? For once in her life, she was at the bottom of the totem pole. I also thought her superiority complex made her character insufferable. Her tendency to judge the other Yale kids for being spoiled and privileged was downright hypocritical. Nicole Ortiz ’23 added, “She couldn’t understand that she was just as privileged as everyone else at her school. Her grandparents even wanted to dedicate a library to Yale in her name!” Crazy stuff. She wasn’t as different as she thought she was–she, too, had her lineage of Yale nobility and attended her fair share of charity galas.

Her atrocious bob

I can’t even write about this devastating haircut without getting emotional. It’s entirely too much.

Don’t get me wrong–despite my strong feelings towards Rory Gilmore, I am still constantly re-watching “Gilmore Girls” when I find the time. I can’t help it…I’m only human. But watching the show over and over again doesn’t make Rory any more bearable, and it starts to get difficult for me after season 4. Nonetheless, when I feel a slight breeze in the air, I will be found on the couch singing along to the show’s theme song.