The realities of dating an Asylum leader


Kathleen Martinez, Staff Writer

Almost every Friday, Servite has a football game and a huge student section in the stands. Every year, a few seniors are chosen to lead that section, and this year, my boyfriend, Jaden Mackowiak ’23, is one of them.

Because he’s a leader, he dresses up in theme and hypes up the students by playing music or beating a gong. Yes, they have an actual gong that they lug around and constantly beat.

Although it’s nice watching him, I barely get to see him. Every game feels like I am waving goodbye to a soldier who is going to war. I say goodbye, get a hug, and his brothers collect him. I see them marching away fading into a sea of middle parts, shouting war cries as they prepare for the upcoming battle.

Actual photo of my soldier geared up for the brotherhood battle. (Photo Provided by Jaden Mackowiak ’23)

Last game was the scariest moment of my life—my boyfriend wanted me to say hi. I was so nervous, my palms started to sweat, and I had to fight the urge to run back to the safety of the Rosary section.

The worst part was hugging him—not because I don’t like hugging my boyfriend—but because I actually got booed. If you’re not from the Asylum, you’ll get booed. When I said hi, my boyfriend went in for a hug in front of everyone. The testosterone filled stands chanted at me to leave and stop talking to their beloved brother. They had work to do. I was genuinely surprised because I talked to my boyfriend during half time, so it wasn’t like I was interrupting anything, but apparently, I’m not allowed to speak to him at all. This is the intensity of the Servite Asylum. They aren’t messing around.

Their boos only fueled my sense of pride for the dangers my boyfriend faced on the front lines.

This picture was taken while freshmen boys shouted at me to stay away from my boyfriend. (Photo Credit: Kathleen Martinez ’23)

I asked my boyfriend why I cannot intrude on his Asylum festivities and he said, “You’re not a guy.” He makes a good point about me not being a guy even if I’m sure I could handle myself in the Asylum.

Despite not being able to sit with him, I love that my boyfriend has the opportunity to lead his brothers in the Servite Asylum, and I’m happy that he has a great time doing it. I think it is funny watching him come up with new ideas, dance around, scream, and just have a good time.

Although I will never be a part of the brotherhood, there are a few reasons why I’m glad I’m not in the Asylum.

First, I don’t think I could handle the heat of the Servite Asylum. Sweaty boys jumping around the whole game is not something I’d want to participate in. Even at a distance, the whiff of teenage boy sweat lingers in the air.

Second, I’d want to keep my voice. The whole game the boys are screaming, and it’s non-stop shouting.

Third, I’d want to be able to see the game. Some of those guys are too tall, and my five foot self would need a step stool to see over them.

Finally, my last reason is that the Servite Asylum couldn’t handle me. I’m just so overwhelmingly cool that the boys would be too jealous of my awesomeness.

A group I’ll never be apart of. (Photo Provided by Jaden Mackowiak ’23)

Ultimately, I’m glad that Servite has the Asylum, and I accept that I can still have a good view of their fun while enjoying the game.

If anyone else dates an Asylum leader after my warnings, good luck to them.  A good thing to remember is that they are just trying to lead, and they aren’t purposely ignoring their girlfriends.