Dolly Parton = World Unity


Ah, Dolly Parton, truly the entity that bonds us all. Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons

Emma Silva, Staff Writer

We are so divided today. From politics, to religion, to pineapple pizza (disgusting, pizza isn’t supposed to be sweet), it feels like there is nothing we can all agree on.

Wrong. There is a single thread holding society together.

Is it love? No. Friendship? Nope. Compassion? Nah.

What, or who, is this magical entity that is holding the weight of societal unity on its/their shoulders?

Dolly Parton.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present: the glue keeping this crumbling world together. Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons

The peak of human existence. Fashion, kindness, and charisma incarnate. To put it into two words: Dolly Parton.

Who doesn’t love Dolly Parton?

Dolly Rebecca Parton is everything everyone should aspire to be. Kind, talented, and still stunning at 75 years old.  Dolly’s career has been a long and successful one.

This woman literally lived in an Abe Lincoln-style cabin, yet she overcame all of that to give the world banger after banger. Seriously, listen to “9 to 5” and tell me your serotonin levels have not tripled. You can’t, because you are too busy singing along and smiling.

You don’t even have to like country music to love Dolly. You just love her, well, because she’s Dolly Parton.

My dear friend Anna Jordan ’23 commented, “I wouldn’t say I was a fan of country music before Dolly. In fact, I woke up every day thinking ‘How on Earth could anyone enjoy country?’ But I was small-minded. I was weak. And then one day, Emma sent me ‘Rainbowland’ by Miley Cyrus featuring Dolly Parton, and I was reborn. I can say without a shadow of a doubt that Dolly transcends genre through her universal songwriting, and I am living proof of that. I may be a city girl, but if someone turns on Dolly, you better believe I’m an overworked farmhand from the depths of Alabama wearing boot-cut jeans and wheat sticking out of my mouth like a toothpick. Dolly Parton was put on this Earth to song write, and I’ll be darned if she isn’t the peak of human existence so far.” Couldn’t have said it better myself.

I mean, hasn’t everyone ever felt jealous of Miley Cyrus? Imagine your godmother being the writer and singer of “Jolene”. That is just way too powerful.

Also, the world has collectively decided to stop naming people Jolene, and I full-heartedly believe it is because they respect Dolly so much.

Dolly has 10 Grammy’s under her belt. She IS the blueprint.

Such an icon, Dolly invented patriotism. Photo Credit: Library of Congress

Part of what makes Dolly so great is that she is not only talented, but she is so kind. She seems like the kind of lady who would hug you on a bad day and tell you that everything is going to be okay.

Katie Thomas ’22 said, “Dolly’s music just slaps. You can be in the absolute worst mood ever, but turn on ‘9 to 5’? You are guaranteed to be rocking out within 30 seconds. Want a country girl pop power ballad? ‘Jolene” is your girl. Dolly is an icon amongst icons and her catchy tunes never fail to light up a room. What most would find a dauntless task, she effortlessly accomplishes multiple times over in her music.” Katie is right. Every single time I hear “Coat of Many Colors” I feel emotions that I haven’t felt since infancy.

Dolly. She really is the absolute best. I just see her and smile. She just is so reassuring. Like as long as we have her, everything is gonna be okay.

Sometimes I wish I could have some memory loss, just so I can listen to Dolly Parton for the first time.

This woman literally has her own theme park. And the odd thing is, it doesn’t feel narcissistic or weird. If anything, I feel like she should have an entire chain of theme parks. Like she deserves to make a park out of herself. DollyWood is number one on my bucket list.

In all honesty though, some days we turn on the news and feel like the ideas of community, friendship, creativity, love, compassion, and respect are dead. But trust me, they are alive and well. They live not only in Dolly Parton herself, but the world’s mutual adoration of her.