It’s officially fantasy football season. To most, this means nothing, and if you asked me last year, I would laugh. Now, if you were to ask me, you would not get a simple one-word reply (not that anything I say is short or simple); you would receive a loud sigh, followed by 10 minutes of me in hysterics expressing the tribulations I am currently experiencing.
My fantasy experience started off strong; I got Joe Burrow and after the first week, my team was looking good. Never in a million years did I expect my life to become consumed by fantasy football, but it has become my most used app.
While I was driving home from the lake, I was informed that Joe had gotten into a slight collision with Shemar Stewart and now has turf toe, resulting in him being out for three months. As a tear slowly slid down my cheek I began to call and text everyone I know, not that they cared, but I figured I would inform them. Bella Ramirez ’26 was one of the first person I texted. She sympathized with me because Joe is also on her team in another league: “I can’t believe it. This could cost me multiple wins. I hope he gets better soon.”
Now that I am devoted to fantasy football, this information has left me in mourning. After complaining about this monstrosity to everyone I encounter, I have realized that I am not the only one who is distraught. My fellow classmates often will stare at me in fear and confusion after my spiel about the situation. Although, the teachers I have talked to might be more upset than I am.
After discussing it with Mr. Aragon, he said, “I was absolutely devastated when Joe Burrow was injured. I picked him 5th overall in my high stakes Superflex fantasy league. What am I supposed to do now? I can’t even sleep at night. I have put a bid on the waiver wire for his back up Browning, but he will not be able to give me the production Burrow gave me. This is an outrage, and a problem of catastrophic proportions.” I agree and have also not been getting much rest; it looks like Mr. Aragon and I will be buying eye cream for our dark under eyes due to the amount of sleep we are missing.
Ms. Brinegar ‘16 has more of a personal connection to the injury, as she explained, “I was devastated to hear about Joe Burrow’s injury. I draft him for my fantasy team every year because we went to LSU at the same time. He is so special to me. The Bengals should hire me to protect him, since his linemen obviously can’t handle it.” Well, looks like we will be seeing our beloved journalism and English teacher on the field. Maybe she can scream out vocabulary words to distract the other team?
Until further notice, you can find me crying anytime the name Joe is said. I hope this weekend brings prosperity to all fantasy leagues and that Mr. Burrow is able to wake up with a brand-new toe.
