Photo Provided by Caitlin Smith ’24

The counseling department would definitely have a nice and tidy apartment to come back to between classes!

As the year begins to creep to an end, many seniors are trying to get our college dorm life in order. This includes the very important step of finding a roommate. We thought it would be funny to pair up teachers as roommates based on how well we see them living together. Let’s get started!

First off, we think that Mr. Lyons and Mr. Clough would be a perfect duo. While Mr. Clough cracks a couple sarcastic jokes, Mr. Lyons would match his energy and crack them right back at him. Furthermore, Mr. Clough loves his snacks, so Mr. Lyons would be a perfect roommate with his crazy good baking skills. The contrast between loving math and the arts would really add to their dynamic. Finding a roommate with similar personalities but different interests is always a good idea to keep your life interesting and to have space for your own thoughts. They can also learn a lot from each other which would make for an interesting time!

Secondly, Madame Neumann and Senora Ray would also be perfect roommates. They are both caring and kind, so they would definitely look out for each other. When one gets messy, the other would most likely have no problem confronting her in a kind way. Both of them are also problem solvers, so they would make sure to keep it clean for the future. They would for sure have fun together in their spare time going thrifting on the weekends after studying hard for exams. To treat themselves after passing a test, they could get coffee and share their love for different cultures. We could totally see them scouting different coffee places to find the best one.

Next, Ms. Barclay ’94 and Mrs. LeClair would build an amazing bond over their twisted love for murder investigations. They would be able to keep each other company at night after watching a terrifying and disturbingly graphic murder mystery. Their shared “go with the flow” nature would create a comfortable and fun environment where they would definitely throw dorm hall parties.

Lastly, Mrs. Lee, Mrs. Sanchez, Mrs. Crowley, Mrs. Moor, and Mrs. Marquez would share an apartment style dorm and rock their matching jean jackets around campus. Their amazing organizational skills would leave their dorm spotless, and their comforting, counselor-like nature would ensure a warm and welcoming environment. They would even be able to contribute to bettering the campus with their “Mental Health Awareness” club that would offer weekly counseling appointments for all who join.

Additionally, we tried really hard to pair up Mr. Bevins with a roommate, but we could not figure out who he would be with. We asked around until we finally found out that this problem seems to be on him and not the faculty. Ms. Barclay ’94 adds, “He brings this on himself.” He seems to be the type who would hide behind his very tall wall of books while reading and secretly (but also outwardly) judging everyone who walks by because he knows that he is better and more deeply existential than all of them.

Let this theoretical faculty roommate pairing help guide you in your quest into finding the perfect roommate either next year or one day.