In order to test my improv poetry skills, Ms. Barclay had five Royal Reporter staff members write random potential poetry subjects on slips of paper. I chose two and was charged with the task of connecting them in one sonnet in which three alternating rhyme schemes are finished with a rhyming couplet. I received “Hello Kitty” and “water brands” and gave it my best shot by writing about a judgmental French mother that needs to keep her opinions to herself.

***

Bonjour, mon petit chat in this sunlight
Move out of the light, it’s a little harsh
No, not all the way, it’s just a bit bright
I just met Mimi, you know, under the arch

*

Added on a few apples haven’t you?
We both agreed, a few more than three, hm?
Oh, don’t be upset, mon cher, it’s not rude!
Croissants and pain au chocolat, how yum!

*

A bit like Dasani, seems like it’s fresh,
But full of acid, a little bitter
Bottled from a spring, treasured and so presh
Gotta be truthful, runt of the litter!

*

Oh, don’t cry, my dear, it’s just some advice!
Girls have to present well, nice and concise!