Similar to the Met Gala or award season, the two-weekend stretch of Coachella is another fashion feast that I get to enjoy in my gym shorts and XXL Cookie Monster t-shirt from the safety of my couch. Ever since gaining access to the Internet, I annually comb voraciously through Twitter and YouTube for Coachella outfit-of-the-days and get-ready-with-me’s (the Emma Chamberlain/Dote Crew/Dolan Twins Coachella video is a must).

As such, I’m personally offended by the weak showing put forth at 2023’s first weekend of Coachella. Presently, Coachella is mainly attended by influencers, whose profession is literally to look cool at Coachella—I feel I must personally withhold their paycheck. Let’s take a look at a few of the standout looks, because I need to stay positive for my own sake (I’m kidding about the paycheck, by the way).

1.) Emma Chamberlain

Emma Chambie pretty much commands every fashion event she attends, and honestly, she was one of the few influencers to make the mark at Weekend 1. Denim was everywhere this year, but the adorable minidress and vest in her two looks are unique in their construction and elevated by her chunky fanny-pack-type bags; with matching Docs to finish the looks, I’m a happy gal.

I especially love that both of these looks are super cute and personalized, but they’re also very functional in the desert heat. Miss Chamberlain, you’ve done it again.

2.) Dominic Fike

I didn’t plan on reviewing any performance looks, and his outfit isn’t earth-shattering or anything, but Dominic Fike has been on my mind since seeing his Coachella look. The bulky cargo jeans and and raw cut-off tank have suddenly become revolutionary to me, though that could have something to do with the reappearance of his curly hair…

In any case, if a man puts together an outfit like this and tops it off with a really cute pendant necklace like Dominic Fike did, my inherently (and unfortunately) low standards are blown out of the water. Senior Adriana Arroyo agreed with my take: “Dominic Fike at Coachella made me feral, like, it’s disgusting. No, it’s disgusting. He’s everything: talent, a whole lot of man.”

3.) Alessandra Ambrosio

I had no clue who this British model was, and I never thought I’d say this, but thank goodness someone pulled inspo from 2015 Coachella. I feel like her looks were so quintessentially Coachella, it was a breath of fresh air. Like Chamberlain’s, her looks are practically airy, but also super customized and adorable. I need her to host an info-session on Zoom or something—influencers, take note!

4.) Kendall Jenner

I just couldn’t stay positive this whole article. Vogue called Kendall Jenner’s outfit “a lesson in festival dressing.” I hope that was a late April Fool’s Day prank, or the author managed to slip that headline past their editor without a double-check, but that is purely ludicrous. I can’t talk about it too much because it actively makes me legitimately mad, but I will say that slacks are not festival clothes. End of commentary.

Layla Valenzuela ’23 summed up my frustrations beautifully, saying, “It looks like she got her look at H&M. Don’t get me wrong, I love H&M, but it’s far from being the best look there.”

We still have one more weekend of Coachella this year, so I’m going to hold out hope for some iconic looks and focus on the standouts we have so far.