Let me set the scene. You’ve been reading your homework for English class far into the night, and it’s finally 2 a.m. You consider going to bed, but curiosity gets the best of you and you turn on the TV to see what kind of late-night show is being featured. There’s only one problem — the only thing on TV is a variety of infomercials.

It might be a me-thing, but I love watching infomercials. To be fair, I would prefer watching a show or movie, but the out-of-pocket names and ideas I see on random infomercials always make me laugh. So, I figured I would put together a list, both of the advertisement and my own personal opinion, of the most ridiculous infomercial creations to share with the Royal community.

The Potty Putter

Ad: Getting bored on the toilet? Don’t worry, the Potty Putter has you covered! The Potty Putter is a mini golf mat that’s small enough to fit in your bathroom and a fun activity for those upset stomach days.

Op: In all honesty, I don’t understand why one would need a game while using the restroom. It just sounds unsanitary and kind of awkward if someone accidently walks in.

The Neck Basket

Ad: Are you always dropping things? The Neck Basket will keep you from being clumsy! The Neck Basket is an ordinary basket that you clip around your neck to hold your belongings in case you have a tendency for dropping them.

Op: My question is why anyone would want to wear a mini bike basket around their neck. Not to exclude the XXL neck basket that the commercial shows can hold a dog… I’m sorry but my neck can not take the weight of a living animal, no matter how convenient.

Doc Bottoms Spray

Ad: Ever worry about being smelly in typically smelly areas? The Doc Bottoms Spray is for you! It is essentially an all over body spray-on deodorant that prevents body odor and smelly bacteria from accompanying in sweaty areas.

Op: Honestly, this one is not that bad. I just feel like if a person wanted to smell decent… they could, I don’t know, shower? Though it’s actually called the Aspray… we’re respectable ladies here on the Royal Reporter and I thought it was best to avoid the title if possible. Overall, this is just a strange “invention” that really doesn’t do much.

Cruzin Cooler

Ad: Are you ever tired carrying the heavy cooler from the soccer field to your car and back? What if the cooler could carry you? The Cruzin Cooler is a large cooler with a motorized scooter attached to the bottom, so you just sit back and enjoy the ride no matter where you go.

Op: *Added to cart*

The Comfort Wipe

Ad: Do you ever accidently make a mess when wiping in the restroom? The Comfort Wipe is here to save the day! The Comfort Wipe is an extension stick that holds the toilet paper for you when keeping hygienic in the bathroom. No more messes for you!

Op: I just have a slight concern here… why on God’s green Earth would I use a little clippy stick that resembles the ChuckIt Dog Ball Launcher to wipe when using the loo? Also, that is going to get so rancid so quickly.

Bear Scratch

Ad: Is your back ever itchy randomly throughout the day? The Bear Scratch has got your back! The Bear Scratch is a large textured pole that you can keep in your house to scratch on whenever your hands can’t reach the good spot. Just copy that bear-like nature and finally have your itchiness relieved!

Op: I’m sorry, I could not stop laughing when I saw this infomercial. I thought it would be one of those bear claw sticks that you see at a 7/11 or random gas station counter that you can extend to reach the itchy spots but nope! This is legit a log-looking pole in your home to go rub up on like bears do in the wild. After watching this one I guess I’ve truly seen it all.

I hope you were entertained (or possibly disturbed) by this collection of infomercial creations. Which one was your favorite? Comment down below!