While some Royals went snowboarding or flew across the world for a tropical vacation over winter break, my friends Isabela Gutierrez ’23, Matilda Simmons ’27, and I decided to take a trip to the beloved trampoline park from our childhood, Sky Zone. We were all suffering from the inevitable second-week-of-winter-break-boredom, and thought that it would be fun to see how the park had changed and if it really was as great as we remembered. So here’s an in-depth Sky Zone review as an-almost-adult.

I pulled into the parking lot and reflected on my decision. It felt somewhat inapropriate to be putting away my car keys in line next to a crying toddler, but I marched on. After joining Isabela and Matilda, I bought my ‘sky socks’ as the employee (who was my age) put on my wristband.

As we changed into our socks, I realized that we couldn’t leave our belongings out in the open and had to rent out a locker. Isabela only had Apple Pay and Matilda just didn’t bring any money, so I was stuck swiping my card to rent out a locker for us all. After shoving three pairs of shoes and two tote bags into a mini locker, we proceeded to the ‘freestyle jump’ zone. We were immediately told that no double-bouncing was allowed and decided to return later.

Our next stop was the ‘freeclimb’ wall. This was basically a rock wall with a foam pit at the bottom. Isabela decided that she wanted to try the wall out and, unfortunately, fell right off. To her left, a small child scaled the entire wall in a few seconds. It’s okay Isabela, we’ve all been shown up by a toddler at some point.

Next, we hit the “ninja warrior” obstacle course. There were three levels: easy, medium, and hard. Isabela and Matilda raced through, swinging and climbing through the course. Even American Ninja Warriors had nothing on my friends. It was impressive, to say the least.

Then, we tried out the zipline. Again, after seeing a toddler glide on by, we foolishly thought that it would be easy. Boy, were we wrong. Immediately after leaving the platform, we plummeted into the foam pit and flailed embarrassingly on the journey down. Never again.

After that humiliating defeat, we decided to try out the freestyle jump again before leaving. We migrated to the corner of the zone, where we could jump in private. To my left, a petite nine-year-old did a series of backhand springs across the room. She made us feel insecure in our jumping abilities, so we sat on the trampolines and talked. My years at Gymboree as a toddler didn’t prepare me for the myriad of flexible children around me. We wrapped up our discussion, took a quick BeReal, and headed on our way.

Overall, the experience was probably a 7/10.

It held up to my expectations fairly well, but I forgot how many snotty kids are at Sky Zone. Maybe don’t go during winter break, when the park is at its peak. It’s important to disclose that I would never go alone, as Sky Zone is meant to be enjoyed with friends. My final conclusion is that I should take gymnastics lessons and then return to repair my leaping reputation with those toddlers. Farewell, Sky Zone. Until we meet again.