One great thing about Starbucks is that they allow you to customize your drink in any way you can imagine. However, some people take this way too far. Here are some Rosary students’ Starbucks orders that I think should get them banned for life. 

Starting us off is Alina Patel ’24. Her order is a Grande Iced Matcha Tea Latte with two pumps of vanilla, vanilla sweet cream cold foam, oat milk, and light ice. She’s starting us off easy. This actually sounds like it could taste pretty good, but was all the extra vanilla and light ice really necessary?

If you thought that was bad, you’re probably not ready for this order from Caitlin Smith ’24. She orders a Grande Chai Tea Latte with oat milk, six pumps of chai, extra water, and kids temperature because the regular temperature is too hot. Just about everything is wrong with this. Extra water? Who likes a watery Chai Tea Latte? And why make them change the temperature of the entire drink rather than waiting five minutes for it to cool down? This might as well be the definition of high maintenance. I don’t understand.

Moving on from that monstrosity of an order, Kristin Ruiz ’26 orders an Iced Caramel Brûlée Latte with one pump of vanilla and vanilla sweet cream cold foam. This one isn’t too bad, but I still don’t understand the thing with all the extra vanilla. Why not just order it as it comes? 

Saving the worst for last is this order from Megan Martinez ’24. If you thought any of the previous orders were bad, get ready to be blown away. Megan’s order is Vanilla Steamed Milk. Yes, that’s it. Just Vanilla Steamed Milk. I don’t even have words to express the confusion I feel in my soul when I see her walk into the classroom with her grande cup from Starbucks. If you really want Vanilla Steamed Milk, why pay for it every single day instead of just steaming your own milk and adding some vanilla creamer? Come on Megan.

Some of these orders were okay, some of them were bad, and the last one is just completely unacceptable. I think someone who orders Vanilla Steamed Milk should be banned form Starbucks forever. However, since it’s Megan, and she’s one of our finest Royals, we’re going to allow it and, instead, pray for her.