A new world tour has just been announced (and no, it is not Harry Styles’ Love on Tour Part 3), ―it is the flu!

The flu has currently stopped off at one of the most amazing venues of all time, Rosary Academy.

Rosary Academy looks forwards to the flu’s annual tour every year and especially the sniffles and coughs of excitement echoing in the halls.All jokes aside, the flu has really taken a toll on Rosary’s staff and students this year. I took it upon myself to interview a few of those that have fallen to this illness.

Emma Silva ’23 was quite passionate when she said (in all caps), “HARRY STYLES STARTED THE FLU EPIDEMIC AT ROSARY.” Because Emma had just come off of a concert high from attending many Harry Styles shows, she full heartedly believes that Mr. Styles himself infected her with the “deadly” flu claiming, “I was a picture of good health. Until I was SLAMMED by the flu. My body was shutting down. I felt like a tuberculosis patient in 1890. I was praying for sweet relief, or at least a quick death to end my suffering. I had a hacking cough, boogers up the whizzer, a headache that would kill a man, and body aches that made me feel like I had been run over by a semi. I took a Covid-19/Flu test, and my good old doc told me I had the flu. It was a HORRENDOUS experience. However, Harry Styles did publicly admit to giving me the flu. And because of that, I am glad I experienced such horrific symptoms because it brought me closer to my husband.”

On a lighter note, Sami DeLeon ’23 also fell ill to the Royal Flu; however, she her sick days getting things done: “I was able to take a couple days off from school and catch up on a lot of my college applications. I also speant a lot of time playing with my three fat dogs who need all the attention.”

Mr. Bevins even took a day off from school last Friday due to the flu epidemic. Students were shocked to see that Mr. Bevins would ever take a day off from school, but the flu hit him like a truck: “I spent all Friday coughing, sneezing, and half awake, Rylee, my daughter, came down with it first and then gave it to my wife and me. Thursday night, Rylee did not sleep because she was up all night coughing. We had to change her sheets a few times because she was coughing up all her congestion on to her bed.” However, Mr. Bevins was able to spend some quality time with his family which watching Disney movies in between naps.

As we all know, the flu has truly made its rounds at Rosary. It is important to stay away from those who are sickly and ill (*cough cough* Emma Silva). Make sure to be washing your hands frequently and using hand sanitizer to stay safe from the Royal Flu.