I love my older brother. However, he is not without his flaws.

My older brother, Felipe, graduated Servite in the class of 2014. He then went on to play soccer for UC Irvine all four years, and he received his masters in finance. He is smarter than I can ever hope to be and more fun, but he is occasionally delusional.

For some background, Diplo is a DJ. He is a B-list celebrity at best. And my brother is obsessed with him.

This is weird, because for the most part, my brother has a decent taste in music. He plays the guitar, and can jam out any classic rock hit, and has an extensive knowledge of Kanye West’s discography. He also has a talent that I will forever be jealous of – he can get into any concert. Doesn’t matter if it’s Coachella, or a small private concert, he can get in.

But my poor brother loves Diplo.

I mean, it’s weird at this point. He has even gotten my Dad and little sister to join into this fantasy. Imagine the horror of waking up on a Sunday morning to the piercing sounds of “Set Me Free” blasting from the Alexa in the kitchen, and consequentially ruining your day. This is my cursed reality.

My family literally has Diplo/EDM music discourse. “Oh, I don’t know, I still prefer Rufus de Sol” “Oh really? Because I think that Diplo’s production can’t be beat” Do you know what it is like to hear stuff like this on a regular basis? It’ll make you want to go into a comatose state where you will never have to hear the name “Diplo” again. And I fully blame my brother for it.

My personal hell-scape aside, this man has used his skill of getting into concerts to see Diplo more times than I can count. HE HAS CROSSED STATE LINES IN THE PURSUIT OF DIPLO.

But nothing will ever beat when he actually “met” Diplo.

My poor, sick brother saw Diplo in some weird venue. He managed to wiggle his way to the front. I guess the stage was low enough to get a half-decent “selfie” with him. Except here is the kicker, DIPLO IS NOT EVEN LOOKING AT THE CAMERA.

As soon as this photo was taken, it was immediately sent to my family group chat. The one that is mainly used for us to send in our Chipotle orders. But no, the entire Silva family had to know about this selfie.

It only gets worse. Diplo posted a video of the concert, and you can see my brother in the front row, smiling like an idiot.  This screenshot was promptly posted to my brothers social media accounts, as well as being sent to every Silva INDIVIDUALLY.

Oh, but the worst part. He would not shut up about it for weeks. I dreaded getting into cars with him, because he would play a Diplo song, and retell the story of how he “met” him for the duration of our car ride.

The weird thing is, he has actually met a lot of celebrities. But like, actually met him. He hung out with Machine Gun Kelly, talked with Suki Waterhouse and Robert Pattinson, and met the drummer from the Foo fighters. But out of all these encounters, he is most proud of the Diplo one. DESPITE DIPLO NEVER EVEN MAKING EYE CONTACT WITH HIM.

I love my brother, despite his weird para-social relationship with Diplo.

If you can take anything away from this story, I hope it’s this: Never play Diplo around my brother.