BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. 

Aren’t you so tired of that annoying ringing? I know I am. But how else are we supposed to wake into the wretched reality of ‘awakeness’ from the delightful rest that comes with being asleep? 

Alarms are pretty much the only way to do the whole ‘wake up’ and ‘get up’ thing.

Unless, of course, cinematic media was lying to us. And movies wouldn’t lie to us, right? 

Okay, bit over. I’m here to tell you HOW TO WAKE UP! 

Okay, first things first. Alarms. They’re incredibly basic, and at this point, a staple to life, but often don’t work or are incredibly annoying. Honestly. No matter how much I plan to be productive and wake up at 5 a.m., I end up changing the alarm 30 minutes to 2 hours later. (P.S. I managed to wake up at 5 a.m. for a week straight, and it was actually amazing.)

And although this doesn’t completely negate the ‘ughhhhh’ factor of alarms, it does make it more

interesting. Change the audio! Sure, you’ve got your boring ‘By The Seaside,’ your fear-inducing ‘Radar,’ and your cliché ‘Constellation,’ but did you know you could make your own? I’m not here to actually be helpful, so if you’re interested in how to do this, I recommend you use Google. Or Bing. Does anyone use Bing?  No. If you say you do, you’re a liar. Sorry. Though I will help a little bit. The app I used was ‘Ringtones Maker – the ring app.’ Good luck.

Anyhow, I opted for some guy yelling at me to wake up. It works—most of the time. 

Second, abandon alarms altogether! Maybe you could tell your guardians (if they’re already awake by that time) to pound on your doors and scream ‘fire!’ Nothing like an emergency and a life or death situation to get you up and at em in the morning! Sure, it’s incredibly terrifying, but isn’t that small compared to the terrifyingnatureoflifethathasbecomesocommonplacethatwecreatedahorrifyingrealitywherealarmsevenexist? I dunno. But do try it out sometime!

Or you could try something else I’ve been thinking of recently. You could fill a spray bottle with cold water and leave it on your bedstand. Once your alarm goes off, spray yourself in the face! Not bad right? I actually might try it out soon. 

…I know what you’re waiting for. The actual advice that usually comes at the end of my humor articles. But no. I have none. The whole reason I wrote this article is because I can’t wake up on time—as previously discussed. So please. Let the roles reverse here. I would LOVE some advice. Subscribe and comment down below.