“Sing 2″ is not good.”Sing 2” haters, rise up.

“Sing 2” is out in theatres, and I must urge you to NOT see it. It sucks.

“Sing 2” is the most unnecessary sequel ever, and it’s as atrocious as “Sing.” Who asked for this movie to be made? Certainly not anyone with any functioning brain cells.

This sprained ankle of a movie tells the story of a bunch of animals going to a weird Las Vegas- LA hybrid city, trying to get freaking BONO to help them take down a murdering talent agent and putting on a weird space musical in the process. This is the most accurate summary of the movie I can give. Even thinking about it makes me sick. Ugh, pass the barf bag.

Before I go any further into my valid and honest critique of this movie, I would like to address the claims made against me by my friends when I innocently voiced my distaste for this movie.

According to some, I am pretentious, and I cannot have fun.

Maybe that is true. But I am pretentious, unable to have fun, and CORRECT.

In order to organize my thoughts on this movie, I will be going through an itemized list of reasons why this movie sucks.

1. Why are they all animals?

It makes zero sense. This was solely to avoid putting any thought into character design, and to sell merchandise. Think about it. It is much easier to create scary, cute, or goofy looking animals than people. You just slightly exaggerate the features. Let’s put it this way: if you changed all of the characters to be humans, gnomes, fairies, or sentient frogs, the plot would not change. It’s lazy, stupid, and anaesthetizing.

1. WHY IS BONO AND ERIC ANDRE IN THIS???

This is the weirdest assortment of characters ever. The Watergate scandal was less offensive than the voice actors performed in this movie. Like what made Bono think “Hey, I’m over music. My next move is voice-acting in brain-melting children’s movies!” Do you guys remember a few years back, when every Apple device had a U2 album already downloaded on it, and no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t delete it? Yeah. Bono being in this movie is worse than that.

1. What lesson is this teaching kids?

Any decent kids movie should teach kids a moral lesson, while being entertaining. WHAT LESSON IS LEARNED FROM THIS MOVIE??? TO CALL YOUR MOB BOSS DAD TO PROTECT YOU WHILE YOU PREFORM A COUP D’ ETAT ON A MULTI BILLION DOLLAR THEATRE? WHAT LESSON IS HERE TO BE LEARNED? ITS JUST TWO HOURS OF BRAIN DESTROYING CONTENT.  I have to calm myself down before I throw my laptop across the room in a blood vessel bursting fit of rage.

“Sing 2” sucks.

I am not a sheep. I will not follow the crowd.

If “Sing 2” has a million haters, I am one of them.

If “Sing 2” has one hater, I am it.

If “Sing 2” has no haters, I am dead.

Please, leave me your feedback in the comments section. I welcome the debate!  You should also take a look at senior Brooke Kizziar’s “Sing 2” review for another (incorrect) review of this travesty.