The Secrets of PAL, ASB, and CM

Here at Rosary ASB, Campus Ministry, and PAL are integral parts. They teach students valuable leadership skills, help students grow in their faith, and develop good peer communication skills. However, what do ASB, Campus Ministry, and PAL really stand for?

ASB is very important to the school body and Rosary as a whole. Therefore, it’s important we understand what it means. It stands for Apples, Strawberries, and Blackberries. 

And who doesn’t love a good fruit cocktail? I mean we’ve all seen it at our class potlucks—different types of fruit in plastic sitting on a counter. Yummy!

One might doubt ASB stands for Apples, Strawberries, and Blackberries. Why would so many students be part of an organization dedicated to fruits? The answer is questionable, so we must turn to the student body for answers. What is ASB? 

A senior, Mary Nassar, says, “It means Associated Student Body!” 

But does it? 

How do we have confirmation? I think there’s only one true definition. Fruits. In fact, I’ve seen several ASB members drinking juice. Fruit juice. I think it’s beyond a conspiracy at this point. It’s downright truth. 

Therefore, if you’re looking to apply for the infamous ASB, I recommend you come prepared. 

In fact, I have a little checklist for you. 

2 bananas

3 oranges

1.5 apples

1 pound of blackberries

4 pomegranates 

1 strawberry 

This is super integral to acceptance into ASB. Qualifications include making a speech, but more important than that is actually bringing fruit to these speeches. After all, what is the audience going to eat? 

Moving on to CM, Isabela Delgado ‘24 says, “CM stands for Campus Ministry.” However, how can we be 100% certain that she’s correct? Because there is reason to assume that CM does not stand for Campus Ministry. Multiple seniors have stated that CM stands for cats and mice and I have to agree. 

So if you would like to apply for Campus Ministry, I recommend you come prepared with knowledge of how to make friends with cats and mice. 

Horses are super important. Look at its face. Look at it. (Photo Credit: Google via the Creative Commons License )

And finally we have PAL. According to Irene Fernandez ‘22 PAL stands for Peer Assistance Leadership. Unfortunately this is not exactly correct. I’ve heard rumors of PAL having a secret branch and that it does not stand for Peer Assistance Leadership. Rather, PAL stands for ponies and lizards. 

I’ve been told there’s another secret branch to PAL. Now, I won’t talk much about the fact that I applied and didnotgetaccepted, but it did happen and was a very real thing. Anyhow, we must talk about the secret, hidden truth of PAL. PAL’s true meaning lies in Penguins and Lions. Yes. It’s true. Penguins like to swim. Lions like to lie down. (Please do not question my research.) And while it’s not explicitly stated in the title, you should have knowledge about flamingos. The best information regarding this topic lies in these lyrics: 

How many shrimps do you have to eat

Before you make your skin turn pink?

Eat too much and you’ll get sick

Shrimps are pretty rich

So if you actually want to apply to PAL and be accepted, you don’t have to bring fruit, or know about cats and mice, you just need to know where to buy ponies, lizards, penguins, and lions.

Alright, it’s honesty time. ASB does not stand for apples, strawberries, and blackberries, nor does CM stand for cats, and mice and PAL definitely doesn’t have two secret branches. All of the weird acronyms that Izzy and I came up with came about because we were both really tired after our AP Gov test.

Rather ASB does stand for Associated Student Body, CM does stand for Campus Ministry, and PAL does stand for Peer Assistance Leadership. And like I mentioned earlier, all these groups are integral parts of Rosary. If you’re looking to improve your leadership skills, consider joining ASB; if you want to improve your peer communication skills join PAL, and if you want to grow in your faith join Campus Ministry. 

Finally, let me and Izzy leave you with one last weird tidbit. Journalism spelled backwards is Msilanruoj.