Which Beowulf are you?


Katie Thomas ’22 and Elena Walz ’22 smile with their Headley translations of “Beowulf.” Behind these smiling faces is the pain and fear of having hours of English homework. (Photo Provided by Katie Thomas.)

Katie Thomas and Elena Walz, Arts & Entertainment Editor and Editor-in-Chief

Ah, Beowulf. A classic story that almost all high schoolers are forced to read. And analyze. And agonize over. But depending on which translation you read, your Beowulf experience could be vastly different from that of another.

In our AP Lit class, we’ve had the . . . um . . . privilege . . . of reading three completely different translations of Beowulf: Maria Headley’s (in its entirety), Seamus Heaney’s, and John Lesslie Hall’s. Each of these unique translations is perfect for one type of person: but which translation is perfect for you?

  1. You finally find free time to focus on and read a book of your choice. Which book becomes your blissful escape?
    1. “The Book Thief” 
    2. “The Great Gatsby”
    3. “Lord of the Rings” 
  2. Pick a kenning:
    1. Woe-walker
    2. Captain-of-evil
    3. Master-of-malice
  3. Quick! Mr. Bevins told you to pull out a pen and you MUST START WRITING. Which pen do you pick?
    1. One of your 20-pack paper mate inkjoy pens
    2. The LMU pen you stole from Mr. Wilson’s presentation
    3. A fountain pen that came in its own case
  4. You must pick ONE restaurant on the corner of Orangethorpe and Harbor. You go to:
    1. Chipotle
    2. In-N-Out
    3. Jersey Mike’s
  5. Pick an artist: 
    1. ABBA
    2. Frank Sinatra 
    3. Yo-yo ma
  6. Opinions on Latin:
    1. Absolutely not 
    2. I mean I guess
    3. I am fluent 

Mostly A’s: Headley! You love to look at the fun side of life, go on adventures, and have a good time. You are probably very active on your social media accounts and admire strong, powerful, women.

Mostly B’s: Heaney! You are a classic, driven, ambitious person who has a lot on their plate. You enjoy the simple things in life, and probably shop at Vineyard Vines.

Mostly C’s: Hall! You are a contrarian. Your sophistication, expertise, and passion for learning and challenge are admired by all. You constantly seek out new opportunities, and probably find yourself in a library more often than not.