Did you survive the PSAT?

Skylar Cooper, Staff Writer

Welcome to PSAT testing day. The Pre Scholastic-Aptitude Test. This test determines how well your reading, math, and writing skills are! We seniors get the day off, you get to go to school and test all day! How fun!

Wanna know how to prepare? Here’s the secret.

Come closer.

Closer.

CLOSER!

You can’t!

I’m kidding, there are 538 proven ways to take the PSAT, but here’s the best one:

Step 1: Procrastinate for six hours, watch twenty Tiktoks for two hours, then pig out on all different snacks, and take a nap for fifty-five minutes and thirty-two seconds.

Step 2: Realize it’s now midnight and that you have to get up early and take the test. Which is exactly six hours and three minutes away.

Step 3: Go to a friend’s house down the street because they’re throwing a party, obviously.

Step 4: Get back home at 4 a.m. and crash. Don’t forget you have to get up in two hours to get ready for school!

Perfect! After you follow these steps. You’re ready to take this test, with the PSAT packet and the bubble sheet in front of you!

Bring extra erasers because we all known you’re going to bubble something in wrong.

Oh no! Forgot your calculator for the math portion? Uh oh. Sucks to be you I guess? Someone should have told you, like there should be an article on it or something. Now open up your book and this is the first question:

John has six apples and plays catch with his best friend Billy.

If x equals the number of computers, when does the elephant come in and what does the shoelace represent?

The answer is OBVIOUSLY letter C.

You haven’t picked C in a while, ahem notice that you’ve only bubbled in A for the past twenty questions!

C: The Rosary students all fell asleep during their PSAT.

Exactly four hours and twenty-seven minutes later you have completed your PSAT! Please choose a disgusting nutrition snack and baby water bottle from the table. Congratulations! You’re free of extreme testing and excessive bubbling. Now go take a much-needed nap and wait until next years’ exam!

Let’s here what some of our Royals have:

Mandy Puga ’24 gives her opinion on the PSAT, “It’s really bad, everyone in my class is pretty much stressed out. And it doesn’t help that I have five other tests this week, thanks College Board.”

Natalia Anguiano ’23 states “I am nervous because I understand it is important since it is going to help me decide what test I will take to get into college.”

Remember Royals, this test is just to see how you’re doing and what skills you need to improve.

Good luck!