Rosary Unsolved: Styluses.


Riley Hawkins, Staff Writer

Extremely evasive and almost invisible to the naked eye, Rosary-provided styluses continue to go missing on campus and in other locations. Many of our very own Royals face countless schooldays without styluses, forced to write with their fingers or, worse, type.

Some Royals speculate that these pens grow legs and run away. Senior Sophia Lambros attests to that theory: “I think I might’ve accidentally dropped my stylus into my protein shake and it got gains, grew legs, and ran away. I hope it’s D-1. That is my only wish.” After spending that long in the hands of a D-1 athlete, any and all logical reasoning points to this theory being absolutely without a doubt correct.

Sophia Lambros watching her stylus run like the wind. Photo by Riley Hawkins

Senior Megan Kendall has actually never lost a stylus, “My stylus and I are very close. We stay up into the wee hours of the night talking about anything and everything. It don’t think it would ever run away from me. Going to college is going to be so hard without it.”

Senior Kate Goostrey, a missing stylus victim, claims: “100% aliens. They are watching us and they determined that 14-18 year old teenage girls wielding styluses is too much power. They had to stop us.” This theory is, in fact, backed by NASA.

A stylus being abducted while Kate watches sadly. Photo by Riley Hawkins

Another unknown theory lies in the bathrooms of Rosary Academy. Have you noticed that as time goes on, more and more worms are going missing? Some speculate that the worms on strings are kidnapping the styluses and holding them hostage. Nobody is sure where exactly the worms are keeping them. It’s unfortunate that our Royals never taught their styluses to never let a kidnapper take them to a second location.

On the missing worms, senior Angela Magallon shared, “I think it’s very disrespectful. The worms were golden, and now they’re stolen. Find the worms.” Angela has never lost a stylus, but she feels very strongly about the worms’ disappearance. She feels this mystery qualifies for Rosary’s Unsolved.