Clash Rumors

Riley Hawkins, Staff Writer

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Clash of the Classes is revered by all grade levels. The Royal Reporter decided to do some digging to get the scoop on what each class is stirring up for the big performance on Wednesday. You are welcome in advance.

Sophomores have actually been assembling a massive shark tank in order to keep the class pet, Fredward, safe.”

The Freshmen: Not well known, but not unknown. Rumor has it these young women are all dressed head to toe in scrunchies. Apparently, they are just going to stand in front of the audience and chant “Vsco girls” repeatedly. Then, they are going to have a slideshow of all their usernames for Vsco so we can all follow them. The audience is in for a treat.

The Sophomores: The Royal Reporter heard that the Sophomores started a Go-Fund-Me back in the beginning of the school year to buy a real shark. During our clash practices, the dancing is just a front. They have actually been assembling a massive shark tank in order to keep the class pet, Fredward, safe. Class President Abby Tice exclaimed, “Fredward is my new bestfriend and I love him.” It is rumored that the girls will be swimming with Fredward to prove sharks are nice, gentle, benevolent beings; but be warned, Mr. Bevins will be attempting to feed girls who forgot to bring their books to a very hungry Fredward. Fredward’s size and breed of shark is still unknown, so tune in to Clash of the Classes to find out.

Who's Going to Win the Spirit Stick for Clash?

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The Juniors: These girls decided to go a logical route: by creating a very elaborate PowerPoint presentation on why it is, in fact, “their stick.” The Royal Reporter caught some unnamed junior class officers in the Mac-Lab mashing all their clips of winning the spirit stick (and running out to receive it) and putting it in their presentation. Their line of reasoning is that if the judges are forced to watch them win over and over again, that is the only thing they’ll be able to picture and therefore award their class with the coveted spirit stick. Junior Lauren Woolley said, “I am so excited to present because I love presenting and PowerPoint is my favorite presentation tool.” Hopefully the logical route works in their favor.

Junior Lauren Woolley pictured with her secret PowerPoint. Photo by Riley Hawkins

The Seniors: The Royal Reporter didn’t have to do much sharing as the Seniors were very happy to share their performance plans. The Seniors are just going to stand in front of the crowd and forcefully cry for the time allotted. They reasoned that everyone will be so uncomfortable with their showing of emotions that they will be award the stick in order to silence their wails. Great thinking Seniors.

Some crying Seniors. Photo by Riley Hawkins

Everyone in attendance in in for a treat for the Wednesday annual Clash of the Classes. Who do you think should win?

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