How to Choose the Right College

Jill Sarni '19 choosing between which college is the right one for her. Photo By Joy Joukhadar

Jill Sarni '19 choosing between which college is the right one for her. Photo By Joy Joukhadar

Joy Joukhadar and Sofia Benavides

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Don’t know where to go to college? Need us to make a decision for you? Take a look at Joy and Sofia’s sage advice, and you’ll know exactly where to go.

Number 1: Make a Pro-Con list

Give each college two categories: Pro vs Con. The college that seems most appealing after doing so is the winner. No second thoughts. Just choose real quick.

Sofia Benavides ’19 and Joy Joukhadar ’19 ‘s list to help them decide where to go. Photo By Sofia Benavides.

Number 2: Ask Ms. Barclay

As one of the youngest, smartest, and overall greatest teachers the Academy’s ever had, Ms. Barclay is sure to guide you in the right direction. As the most compassionate and caring faculty member, Ms. Barclay is sure to make the right choice for you.

Number 3: Roll Dice

This will ensure an unbiased outcome. See, all you have to do is narrow it down to two options, then assign one college to even numbers and one college to odd. For example, let’s say you’re choosing between UCSB and SLO. SLO would be odd, UCSB would be even.  So then, if you roll a 4, you’d go to UCSB. If you get a 3, you would go to SLO. See, you’re not being swayed by anyone’s opinions or stupid factors like financial aid, it’s all on fate.

Number 4: FOOD

Here’s the thing, folks. The five things humans need to survive are air, water, shelter, wifi, and food. Chances are, those first four will be the same at any college you visit. But food? No, sir. Food varies from place to place, people to people. And the greatest tragedy would be to be stuck at a school where the food sucks more than a high-power vacuum cleaner (no shade I promise). So the number one deciding factor on where to go to college? HOW’S THE FOOD?!

Holly Middleton ’19 having a contained breakdown over her choice. Photo by Joy Joukhadar

Number 5: Follow him to college

Got a boyfriend? Is he going to college? Just go there! (Again, this is a satirical article ok people?) Even if you didn’t get into that school. 

Number 6: Campus

What does the campus look like? Is it pretty? The reality is, you don’t want to live somewhere ugly. If you go from beautiful SoCal to some run-down campus in the middle of nowhere, it won’t be a good time for you. If you’re between a college who gave you a big scholarship and a college with a lake in the middle of the campus, definitely choose the one with the lake. That’s what I’m doing!

 

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