The Royal Reporter

Excuse the Seniors

Senior+Alex+Samaiwi+taking+a+quick+power+nap.+Photo+by+Caitlin+McClure
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Excuse the Seniors

Senior Alex Samaiwi taking a quick power nap. Photo by Caitlin McClure

Senior Alex Samaiwi taking a quick power nap. Photo by Caitlin McClure

Senior Alex Samaiwi taking a quick power nap. Photo by Caitlin McClure

Senior Alex Samaiwi taking a quick power nap. Photo by Caitlin McClure

Rebekah Barnabas and Caitlin McClure

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Rosary girls have always had a reputation for looking, for lack of a better word, like…a mess. Messy buns, zitty faces, nonexistent eyebrows. You get the gist. But the seniors, oh the poor seniors, have transcended from solely physically messes to emotional messes. It is highly encouraged to avoid these terms: SAT, ACT, college, college apps, because on a scale from one to triggered, these words are ranked as emotionally traumatizing.

Now, here’s a guide of 5 tips on how to handle the seniors.

  1. If a senior bumps into you and possibly causes you (unintentional) bodily harm. Apologize. Just apologize, even if you did absolutely nothing wrong. Furthermore, if you have any candy or money on you, just give it all to the senior. Just do it. It’ll make her day go from terrible to barely tolerable.
  2. If a senior is standing in the lunch line, just let her cut. There’s no way you can even hope to appease her emotional stress, but the least you can do is let this poor girl get her food five minutes faster.
  3. Chances are, the seniors are all terribly sleep deprived and probably shouldn’t be driving, so for your own safety, be on high alert. If you see a senior trying to exit the parking lot, let her exit first. If you see an open parking spot closer to campus, leave it open. Some frantic (and tardy) senior will appreciate it. So if you see a scratch on your car, just cry internally and hope your insurance covers it.
  4. If you have a class with a senior and she never does her homework, ignore her. You don’t even know the half of what she’s going through at the moment, and having her pictures cropped and downloaded for photography is the least of her concerns. If anything, you should offer her help her and give her your kind assistance.
  5. Lastly, if a senior is sleeping, DO NOT wake her up. Even if it’s during the middle of an earthquake or fire drill, just let the poor girl have a couple moments of peace. And if she’s sleeping in class, don’t even bother.

    Senior Alexandra Samawi ‘dying’
    Photo by Caitlin McClure

We seniors are dying. Not in a metaphorical way, but in a very real “college is going to be the death of us” way. Chances are, most of us seniors are already on our 4th mental breakdown of the week, and it’s only Monday.

The Royal Reporter interviewed senior Chayse Gomez to give us some insight on how she is doing, and the only response we got was “death.” We don’t know exactly what this means, but it sure is a strong yet accurate word to describe a senior’s state of existence. Furthermore, we asked Ms. D’Alba, the senior religion teacher, to tell us how all her students are doing. According to her, “They’re causing their own stress because they’re not even thinking.” The seniors are a living example of what happens when your brain stops working and you still have work to do.  

In a short couple of years (or maybe months), you too will be a senior, and when that happens, you will wish people followed this guide. So, for now, please just excuse the seniors.

For anyone whose stress has caused them to lose some of their sense of humor, this article is meant to be funny … even though the stress is real.

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About the Writers
Rebekah Barnabas, Features Editor

Rebekah Barnabas is a senior who can be easily identified by the constant smile on her face (unless she is terribly hungry or legitimately sleep deprived)....

Caitlin McClure, Copy Editor

Caitlin McClure is a senior and a first-time writer for the Royal Reporter. As the oldest of four, she has grown up in a constant state of chaos and never-ending...

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Excuse the Seniors