Judging Onion Rings like a Pop Queen

Junior+Jula+Lewis+chowing+down+on+what+she+claims+are+%22the+best+onion+rings+ever%21%22+Photo+Credit%3A+J.+Joukhadar
Junior Jula Lewis chowing down on what she claims are

Junior Jula Lewis chowing down on what she claims are "the best onion rings ever!" Photo Credit: J. Joukhadar

Junior Jula Lewis chowing down on what she claims are "the best onion rings ever!" Photo Credit: J. Joukhadar

Joy Joukhadar, Staff Writer

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Onion rings are a staple aspect of most Royal outings. As appetizers or sides, they make meals better than if you ordered some basic fries or unnecessarily healthy fruits. The Royal Reporter pulls a Lorde, and mercilessly judges some onion rings so you don’t have to waste your time, money, and taste buds on awful onion rings!

The Filling Station: Here’s the deal: these onion rings were pleasantly edible and all, but, a total rip off. Five dollars for 7 rings?! Unless these mediocre onion rings were boiled in Beyonce’s tears, they aren’t worth it.

An inside look at the onion rings that’s taste changed Julia Lewis’ life. Photo Credit: J. Joukhadar

Johnny Rockets: “Who knew the Brea Mall could be so bougie!!” exclaimed ecstatic junior Julia Lewis after one bite of these onion rings. Though a bit light on batter, the onion rings from Johnny Rockets’ onion rings were out of this world!

Ruby’s: Just like the restaurant itself, these rings give off an old-time-vibe. One wonders if these are the rings their grandparents would have when they were young and at a poppin’ diner. Plus, you’ll get to relate to your grandparents by tasting the most mundane onion rings around. They’re just regular, average onion rings. Although nothing beats the classics, any other onion rings beat these bland, crusty circles of sadness.

Sophia Mall is genuinely disturbed by the overly-doughy Burger Parlor onion ring in her hand. Photo Credit: K. Mall

Burger Parlor: Onion Ring? More like atrocity! Okay I don’t like to be too judgy (I say as I write an article where I literally drove around Orange Country judging onion rings), but these rings look wrong. They lack the iconic crumby texture that Americans love so dearly. Junior Sophia Mall complained,”all I taste is batter and bitter, bitter disappointment.” It was overly doughy and will never get to the level The Habit’s onion rings’ achieved.

The Habit: Perfection doesn’t begin to describe these rings. It could be, quite possibly, the most gorgeous food I’ve ever laid my eyes on. With it’s perfect crunch and proper amount of grease, this onion rings tastes good with anything. I can confidently report this after trying it plain, in a burger, with ranch, and even with whipped cream.

Of course, you’re allowed to have different opinions on any of these restaurants’ onion rings. However, if you take a friend to Burger Parlor for some onion rings, and she runs out in tears, don’t say The Royal Reporter didn’t warn you!

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