my brain has been poisoned and dulled.

I lack substance behind my words.

if I’ve ever lived a life full of meaning, 

then I have forgotten myself living in that world.

I view the world only through a lens

and behind this lens, I hide

a poorly managed façade,

which is ironically glorified.

dictionaries contain not the definition of my being,

and the empty space besides my name taunts me.

I do not have the hands to create character,

making this task is overwhelmingly daunting.

please do not ask me to be sincere.

being overwhelmingly Human is lethal.

it is difficult to reconcile with the amount of times

I have lied to myself and other people.

might as well do away what’s left of my feelings

since They choose what is truth as They see fit.

They cannot tell me that I should be true to myself,

when They themselves are hypocrites.

“everybody is beautiful!”

but Truth is the latest trend.

and according to the latest,

I have blemishes I can never mend.

mindlessness is the latest fad!

just strive to forget you can feel emotion.

see, even if I tried showing sincerity

I’d be but a drop of freshwater in an ocean.

alas, my senseless tears only end up in my morning coffee.

and since I am destined to feel numb to Feeling,

I must physically swallow the evidence of my Humanity

because tears are a bit too revealing.

I am stained with the colorlessness of a Modern World.

I have “money,” but how can I use this?

am I still human having now stripped away my complexity?

ah, modernity has failed me, it’s useless…