Ah, Red and Gold. Every year, our lovely ASB girls pick out a theme that will help guide the script captains to create a sentimental show.

Red and Gold 2021’s theme this year was “The Grand Illusion” — a great theme! But what about the themes that didn’t make the cut?

Red and Gold 2003 almost had the theme “Better to Ask for Forgiveness Than Permission.” ASB really took this theme to heart, and planned and executed a coup d’é·tat of the front office loudspeaker system. They announced the theme without qdministration’s approval, then subsequentially had to ask for forgiveness.  Ahhh, the irony.

All the way back in 2010, ASB decided that “Kanye Interrupting Taylor Swift at the VMA’s” would make the best theme for the year. It was later decided that they should go back to the drawing board, because let’s be real, Kanye did NOT make Taylor famous.

ASB had a particularly tough time deciding a theme in 1997 but one of the top contenders for the year was “Socks.” This theme was actually announced to the students, but the student body was so disgusted by this theme, they actually went on strike for three weeks, refusing to do their chemistry homework. This couldn’t last long, as administration needed the students to do their chemistry homework, because they can’t have a student body who doesn’t know the relationship between pressure and volume.

Points for creativity, though.

2012’s Red and Gold almost showcased the theme “Pitbull.” Rest assured, the entire student body and all of administration loved this theme. Seriously, not one person did not adore this theme. However, due to copyright issues, and a very strongly-worded email from Mr.Worldwide’s manager, ASB was forced to choose a new theme. I cannot express how disappointed the world never got to witness the show’s written for this theme.

Seriously, imagine if 200 girls just got on stage and started performing a show with the main theme of “Pitbull.” Like, the bald guy from Miami that sings “Give Me Everything.” Tell me you wouldn’t give anything to see that.

“One Direction Lyrics” was almost chosen as Red and Gold 2016’s theme. The script captains expressed how the wound of the recent announcement of One Direction’s hiatus was still very raw, and having to write a show based around the beloved British/Irish boyband would be very painful.

I can’t blame the script captains. That was a very traumatic and scary time.

I am totally kidding. You might even say this article was “The Grand Illusion.”

Happy early April Fool’s Day Royals.